I was bitten by a radioactive potato?

WARNING: u may lose your pants after reading this. Fasten ur belts guys ur in for a true personal story by a deranged maniac. Well anyways --opens beer can-- I was rolling around on the floor a couple of days ago as usual ya kno and i saw a dvd laying under the vcr. I was like crap who knows how long its been since i stold it from a redbox machine. I picked it up and almost choked on my medication. dramatic pause. it was a mother frikin spiderman 2 dvd. ur probobly thinking who gives a crap but i couldnt hardly breathe due to the pill blocking my throat. After a few weeks of therapy and extensive nosebleeds i came home from the hospital seeking my revenge. I aproached the dvd with a fork in one hand and a taco in the other and opened the dvd. out of it jumped a radioactive potato that bit me on the ocks. The next thing i kno im flying through the air,naked of course,holding a sack of lima beans and being chased by the police. Its all pretty cool now i mean i can climb walls and shoot french frys out of my "aracnads" (abnomen) . Also i met a guy named Barry Hane and now were going out. crap i just ran out of lotion.