My perspective on life?

ok im not the greatest at wirting so plz forgive me so ok heres the deal i got 2 questions 1 i always have this feeling that im going to die young but i feel like i will do something that changes the world i dont know why but i just do so i was wondering if eneybody else had these same feelings 2 we have a nice house we live in the sticks and have a steep dirve way about 6% grade about a quarter mile long i was on a old yardmen garden tractor about its about 14 years old so it has the old clutch braking and i just started down the hill when the clutch somehow ingaged by itself and the brakes stoped working so i went flying down the hill probly close to 45 to 50 mph i was so scared i knew i was going to die if i didnt do something we have 3 hugh trees at the bottom of the drive way i knew if i hit them i would surely not make it or be severly injured on the left side of the driveway is another hill going striaght down about 55 to 70 ft on the right a small bank about 7 ft high and a ditch between the 2 so if i went in the ditch at that speed i would roll all the way down the hill with the tractor on top of me if i try going right there was no way i would make it so i though ill lean to the right and try goin on the main road untill i slowed down but as u probly know that didnt work the tractor started rolling i though ill never make it the tractor jumped when i hit the main road so i sort of bounced up and blacked out then next thing i know i was in the air blacked out agian untill i hit the ground landed somehow i hit the ground and rolled in to another ditch filled with water i crawed up out of the ditch layed on my back closed my eyes and said thank you lord then i started crying i was thinking was my dad will kill me but some lady that lived down the road was driving in a van up the road just i i was flying across it she was probly on 50 yrds away she scene it all she stoped in my drive and ran over to me and started huging me i was so afriad she asked me if i was ok i said im fine so she helped me up put my arm over her neck n started walking me to her car i looked back at the tractor it was smashed agianst a tree she took me to my house my sisters cam running out i was still teared up they asked what happend the lady told them i asked for the phone they said why i said ive goto call daddy she said ok n got me the phone i called him and told him he said buddy im not a bit worried about that tractor im just glad that ur not hurt i started crying agian i said im sorry its all my fault he said dont worrie about it then he said i love ya head i said i love u to then hung up so i went n got the 4 weeler n a chain i rode down the hill going 5 mph i when to the other side of the road n looked at the tractor the frame did like a accordion the engin block was cracked plastic was distroyed n the tires were flat the only thing good left on it was the key and the mowing deck so i tryed pulling it out i didnt work the a man on a farm tractor stoped n helped us get it in the drive then i used our kubota to drag it up the drivewayhad my sisters bf sit on it n try to steer it so i figure i had about 1 in a million chance of surviving it but some how i did so i kinda of really started felling like i had something to do that was importent to do after that moment i always had that felling but it really changed my perspective on life and i started thinking why did i deserve to live thorugh that why did i make it why am i still here its just very confusing why i diserved to live and why is god keeping me around i dont understand it so if eneybody has eney clue why im still here plz help me out and if u want to see picture of the demolished tractor send me a email and i will send you some of the pictures i have and thank you